When my daughter called through the door and said, "Mom, there's someone from Good Morning America on the phone," I thought, "Yeah, right." Because that kind of stuff doesn't happen in my world, unless I'm fast asleep.
But when I got to phone, it really WAS Kari Pricher, an incredibly lovely and wonderful producer from GMA, saying that she'd just seen Q & A, and wondering if Josh and I would be willing to appear on the show on Mother's Day with Dave Isay from StoryCorps.
My thoughts in order:
1) OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGO
2) OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Josh is going to TOTALLY FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!! And NOT in a good way.....
3) Wait a minute...I have 23 people coming to my house for a barbecue for Dad's birthday on Sunday. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I was able to resolve number 3 pretty quickly, because we'd have to be at the studio by 6:30am, and would be back home by about 10-10:30, and our guests weren't due till 1pm. But number 2 was my biggest concern. I told her I would have to speak to my son first, and I'd call her back.
In the car on the way to Josh's trainer, I told him about the call. As I expected, he was not thrilled with the idea. "Is it live?" he asked. I fudged and said I wasn't sure, because I wanted to get to the root of his concerns. "Why would that make a difference?" I asked.
"Because they can edit stuff out if it's not live," he said.
Ok. So basically, like me, he was afraid of making a complete prat of himself on live, nationwide TV. I got it. I so, totally got it.
He seemed really unhappy about the whole idea, so as much as I wanted to do it, I just couldn't see moving forward unless there was a way to make him feel better about it. So I tried to lay out the pros and cons for him. I explained to him that even though the segment would have nothing to do with my books, it would be a good for me as an author to have the exposure, and that meant it was good for our family. But I also said that if he really was desperately uncomfortable with the idea, then we wouldn't do it, because it wouldn't be worth it.
When he went into his appointment, he was very tense, and I thought it was going to be a no go. I called Kari back and told her that he was extremely anxious about the idea. To her credit, the first thing she said was, "What can we do to make him less anxious?"
I asked her to describe for me exactly what was going to take place, step by step, from the minute the car picked us up at some ungodly hour of the morning, to the time it dropped us back on our doorstep after the interview, so I could prepare Josh for what to expect. That's always made things much easier on him. Kari was terrific. She described everything, down to what kind of food we could expect in the green room and the fact that there was a pinball machine there.
Then I told her that what would really help Josh would be to know the question they were going to ask him in advance, so he could have some time to think about his answer. She said that they normally only do that for Heads of State, but in Josh's case they'd make an exception. I thanked her, and told her I'd get back to her after I'd talked to him again.
Well, I wish I had a picture of his face after I told him that they were going to offer him a privilege normally only offered to heads of state. He had a huge smile and he lit up like a Catherine Wheel. Later that evening, he came and pounced on my bed. "So Mummy," he asked, "Does this mean I'm on par with Obama?"
I sent an e-mail to Kari. "You had him at 'Heads of State'" I told her.
The kid didn't get into Mensa for nothing. He immediately started milking this for all it was worth.
"So getting up at 5:00 am on a Sunday constitutes a Mother's Day present, doesn't it?" he said.
And then, the night before, he wanted sushi. I said no, because we'd eaten out the night before, and he countered, "But it would make me feel less nervous."
Ah kids. They know how to push your buttons. One spicy tuna roll, coming right up.*
So that's how we ended up heading to ABC's Time Square studios at 5:45am on Sunday morning. We got there about 6:30 and were escorted up to the green room by Jim. Josh prompted tucked into the chocolate muffins. I was too nervous to eat, but drank coffee, in hopes that I might be semi-coherent by the time we were interviewed.
Then it was time for hair and makeup.
These women are magicians. I went in there with a huge zit on my chin, bags under my eyes, looking like your basic suburban mom. They made me look totally glamorous. I felt like I was on WHAT NOT TO WEAR or one of those other makeover shows. I wish I had a make up person to do my face whenever I have to go somewhere. Especially since once, when I was putting on my face at the gym, this woman told me I put on makeup "like a crazy lady."
Josh just got a little powder and some hair wax for his JewFro, since he has such gorgeous skin and hair. (Isn't the TEENAGER the one who is supposed to have the zits? Just sayin'...)
Back in the green room we had our mics put on and checked. The sound guy asked me to count to ten. What he didn't tell me was that the sound was going to come through the TV in the green room. So I started counting and then I heared my voice coming through the TV and went "OMG!" and then kept counting. The people in the control room must have realized they were dealing with someone who doesn't do this every day. Josh, on the other hand, counted like a total pro, even though I know he was nervous inside.
Eventually they led us onto the set
and sat us on the sofa. The Webmeister and my daughter were able to watch from the opposite set behind the cameras. Bill Weir (no, not Bob Weir from the Grateful Dead, which was my first thought when I heard his name) conducted the interview, and after all that build up, in what seemed like a blink of an eye, it was over.
We got to go see the control room afterwards:
and then it was back to CT where my sister Anne and brother-in-law Mark had been holding down the fort and starting the preparations for my dad's birthday barbecue. I felt totally jet-lagged from the early start, so I took a quick nap and then arose to get my Martha Stewart on.
Dad had wonderful birthday celebration and I certainly had a very memorable Mother's Day.
Here's the GMA segment, in case you missed it:
*Fear not. This shameful indulgence ended today, when it was back to my normal Evil Mother Self.